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With the season Tom Brady is having in the NFL, it wouldn't surprise us if he shot 50-under at Doral's Blue Monster.
With the season Tom Brady is having in the NFL, it wouldn't surprise us if he shot 50-under at Doral's Blue Monster. (Courtesy Wikipedia)

Golfer Supremacy Rankings applaud international stars and Tom Brady's deal with the devil

William K. WolfrumBy William K. Wolfrum,

Here at the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, we appreciate greatness, even though sometimes it irks us. Because, face it, doesn't it get just a little irritating to see fantastic athletes like Tiger Woods and Tom Brady have lives that make your random oligarch seethe with jealousy?

And sure, we admit to a bit of jealousy ourselves. After all, we spend hour after hour here, feeding data into the GSR supercomputer, working for a pittance. But, like a fisherman in Scotland, we have our dignity and refuse to sell out.

Nonetheless, it was a stellar week for some of the biggest names in golf and sports last week, and this week's rankings have an international flair, as some Americans, a Canadian, a Norwegian, an Argentinean and a heroic Scotsman all showed that they have the stuff that GSR dreams are made of for one glorious week.

Of course, with Halloween quickly approaching, we'd be remiss not to give a tip of the hat to Satan, who we truly believe has made it all possible for some of these mega-superstars.

1. Tom Brady

Comments: Following his six-touchdown performance in the New England Patriots blowout victory over the Miami Dolphins, Brady stopped by Doral's Blue Monster and shot a 22, recording 17 holes-in-one and an uncharacteristic par on a par 5. Witnesses say that the NFL star's concentration may have been off on that hole as he was busy collecting the phone numbers of singing stars Rihanna and Shakira, as well as the girl that plays Kate on the show "Lost."

"It was a good day for Tom, and he really appreciates all the support he's gotten from his teammates," said Brady's agent, Satan.

2. Tiger Woods

Comments: Woods made $100 million without swinging a club last week, as he signed a massive endorsement deal with Gatorade. The new "Tiger-ade" will be made from freshly squeezed Tiger juices, but only on days that he has his "A game." Neither Woods nor Satan could be reached for comment.

3. Mike Weir

Comments: Pushed by the confidence one can only get from beating Tiger Woods in match play, Weir shot a final-round 68 to win the Fry's Electronics Open, his first PGA Tour victory in more than three years. It was an emotional win for Weir at Grayhawk Country Club and vaulted the Canadian to 33rd on the PGA Tour money list.

"All of those matches were pressure-packed during the Presidents Cup, and everything about my golf swing felt great," Weir told reporters. "So I think maybe it did solidify it a little bit, but I've always believed in what I'm doing, that's for sure."

After the victory, Canadian Stephen Harper announced that this week will be "Mike Weir Week" and that all Canadians will get the week off to enjoy free health care, watch hockey games and revel in their overall Candian-ness.

4. Angel Cabrera

Comments: It has been reported that the Argentinean won the PGA Tour's Grand Slam of Golf last week in Bermuda, but due to the blackout of the event due to its lack of Tiger, this victory has yet to be confirmed. Let us know if you hear anything.

5. Suzann Pettersen

Comments: The red-hot Pettersen won the LPGA Tour's Hana Bank-Kolon Championship at Mauna Ocean Country Club, Ulsan, Korea. Afterward, many in the South Korean press complained about Pettersen's inability to speak Korean and her lack of personality, saying that players like Pettersen just don't connect with the average South Korean golf fan.

Random Anti-Tiger Woods: Showing that money isn't everything - at least for one man in Scotland - Michael Forbes, a 52-year-old Scottish fisherman has turned down £1million and a lifetime job from Donald Trump, who wants to buy Forbes' farm which is on the estate where Trump wants to build his new massive Scottish golf resort.

"I told them from the start the place wasn't for sale," Forbes told the Daily Mail. "I wouldn't go and work for them if it was the last job in the world."

William K. Wolfrum keeps one eye on the PGA Tour and another watching golf vacation hotspots and letting travelers in on the best place to vacation. You can follow him on Twitter @Wolfrum.

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