GOLFER SUPREMACY RANKINGS

'Wolfrum Whammy' sends Golfer Supremacy Rankings, Patriots fans into chaos

By William K. Wolfrum,
Staff Writer

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Here at the Golfer Supremacy Rankings, everything we do is a team effort. Our staff includes more than 300 hard-working people from 134 nations and all continents. We even have some space spores we keep in the back that we think may be from Mars. That's how diverse we are.

But sometimes, one of our members stands out, and goes far beyond our already high expectations. This week, it was our perilous leader, who, with enemies all around him, stood by his guns and did what so few golf writers have ever done in the history of journalism - he put the 'Whammy' on the New England Patriots. Now with the New York Giants celebrating and Patriots fans crying, all is right again with the universe, and maybe, just maybe, we can all get back to golf again.

Golfer Supremacy Rankings

1. William K. Wolfrum

Comments: When New England Patriots fans showed bad sportsmanship, Wolfrum did something that shocked the golf writing establishment - he put a Whammy on them and their team. Now, following the New York Giants' 17-14 win in Super Bowl XLII, all must give credit to the "Wolfrum Whammy." The big question: Which golf star will earn a Whammy? So far, no one has stepped up to deserve it, though Paul Azinger's recent whining about having to pee in a cup for a drug test puts him on the short list. One thing is for certain, however - at this point in history, William K. Wolfrum and his Whammy are the most powerful figures in all of sports.

2. Tiger Woods

Comments: Woods finished the Dubai Desert Classic with a birdie to hold off Ernie Els and win his second tournament of 2008. To those who thought last week's "Golfer Supremacy Super Bowl" was a farce, just remember this - between Tiger Woods and the New England Patriots in 2008, which is the one with the loss? We thought so.

3. J.B. Holmes

Comments: The Super Bowl wasn't the only big upset going down in Arizona over the weekend, as J.B. Holmes took measure of Phil Mickelson in a playof to win the FBR Open. Holmes fought his own jitters but used his mighty driver to birdie the only playoff hole and get his second career win - both of which were at the FBR. Here's to putting a reverse Whammy on Holmes, in hopes that the exciting 25-year-old can win at a few more venues this year.

4. Cooper Manning

Comments: Now the only Manning brother to not win a Super Bowl - or play in the NFL for that matter - we felt as though ol' Cooper deserved a mention here. After all, he survived a potentially life-threatening spinal problem and seems like an okay guy. We here at the GSRs appreciate a guy who, when he was a child and watching his father Archie play for the then-horrendous New Orleans Saints, put a bag over his head like many other fans and convinced his brothers to do the same, to his parents' chagrin.

Honorable Mention: The New York Giants deserve some mention here. After all, they made the "Wolfrum Whammy" a reality. But while Eli Manning and his team deserve a lot of credit, let us not forget the ultimate truth - they rode the coattails of the Whammy.

February 4, 2008

Any opinions expressed above are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the management.