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Drowning your sorrows
A
hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf,
enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer,
he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake
off to the left of the fairway.
He
looks at the caddy and says, "I've played so poorly all day; I think
I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
The
caddy looks back at him and says, "I don't think you could keep
your head down that long."
The worst caddy
Bill
was 26 over par by the eighth hole; he had landed a fleet of golf
balls in the water hazard, and dug himself into a trench fighting
his way out of the rough. When his caddy coughed during a 12-inch
putt, Bill exploded.
"You've
got to be the worst caddy in the world!" he screamed.
"I
doubt it," replied the caddy. "That would be too much of a coincidence."
Heaven
& Earth
"I'd
move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course," sighed
Mac, the golfer.
"Try
heaven," advised the caddie. "You've already moved most of the earth."
Eventually
A
pretty terrible golfer was playing a round of golf for which he
had hired a caddie. The round proved to be somewhat tortuous for
the caddie to watch and he was getting a bit exasperated by the
poor play of his employer.
At one point the ball lay about 180 yards from the green and the
as the golfer sized up his situation, he asked his caddie, "Do you
think I can get there with a 5-iron?" And the caddie replied, "Eventually."
The worst course
This
is the worst golf course I've ever played on!
This isn't the golf course, sir! We left that an hour ago!
I prefer golf
Well
Caddy, How do you like my game?
Very good, Sir! But personally I prefer Golf
You've
played before?
Well,
I have never played this badly before!
I didn't realize you had played before, Sir
Is my game improving?
Caddy,
Do you think my game is improving?
Oh yes, Sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to
Stop
checking the time
Please
stop checking you watch all the time, caddy. It's distracting!
This isn't a watch, Sir, its a compass!
Is it a sin?
Caddy,
do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?
The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!
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