Golf Jokes » Caddies

You did it!

Caddying for the elderly beginner had required great patience. He was doddery but he was dogged and he had sworn to break 100 before the summer was out. In fact there was a bottle of malt riding on it - his faithful caddie would receive it when the magic score had been broken.

Then arrived a day when dogged persistence seemed about to pay off for both player and caddie. They were on the green at the eighteenth and only 97 strokes had been accounted for.

Player and caddie were excited and in the grip of such emotion it was small wonder that the player sent his first putt racing three metres past the hole.

In a flash the caddie had dropped the flagstick, picked up the ball and was crying excitedly. "Well done, sir! You've done it! You've done it! Anyone would give you that."

Trevino's ex caddie

Mulholland believed himself a superior caddie. He certainly had a superior attitude towards the man whose clubs he carried. Why only last month he had caddied for Lee Trevino, and now each time his client asked for a 5-wood, the boy would sneer,

"Lee Trevino used a 4-iron from here." And so it continued all the way around. The caddie recommended the clubs Trevino would have used and the golfer's game went rapidly from bad to worse.

Finally, at the eighteenth, there was a huge lake to cross.

"OK, know-all," said the golfer, "what would Trevino suggest here?"

"I think if Lee had come this far with you, he'd say, `Use an old ball."'

He's not my caddie

Rich Texans are fabled for their grand style but when one oil tycoon appeared at a local British golf course followed by a servant pulling a foamcushioned chaise-longue, his opponents thought that this was taking style too far.

"J. R., are you going to make that poor caddie lug that couch all over the course after you?" he was asked.

"Caddie, my eye," explained J. R. "That's my psychiatrist."

How old is that caddy

Caddiemaster, that boy isn't even eight years old."

"Better that way, sir. He probably can't count past ten."

I know the next shot

He'd sliced his drive and watched resignedly as the ball plummeted into the woods. He followed after and found his ball - surrounded by thick undergrowth and wedged firmly between two tree roots. He contemplated the situation for a few profoundly silent minutes then turned to his caddie and asked: "You know what shot I'm going to take here."

"Yes, sir," replied the boy as he took a hip flask of malt from the bag.

I don't usually play this way

I want you to know that this is not the game I usually play," snapped an irate golfer to his caddie. "I should hope not, sir. But tell me," enquired the caddie, "what game do you usually play?"

Submit a golf joke to Bad Golfer!