« Back to Golf Joke Categories [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F][G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [X] [Y] [Z] Next >> Golf Dictionary - What golf terms really mean
G Gallery
- The spectators at a golf tournament. Golf fans enjoy a much higher
degree of participation in their favourite sport than their counterparts
seated in stadiums could ever dream of: they get almost as much
exercise as the players themselves, they can wear the identical
playing outfits without the slightest embarrassment, they stand
at least as good a chance of being injured during the course of
play as even the top golfer in the country does, and they can enter
upon and do serious damage to the playing field before and during
the contest as well as after it is over. Game
- A competitive round of golf, but also a particular golfer's style
of play. Over time, golfers tend to progress through several basic
kinds of "game": great drives, poor approach shots and
lousy putting; awful drives, foul approach shots and superb putting;
perfect drives, rotten approach shots and dreadful putting; and
ping-pong, bowling and croquet. Gas What
putts left on the amateur side of the hole run out of. Get down
A message from golfer to ball asking it to cease flying—now!
Usually heard after a ball is hit too far or offline; almost always
uttered with great agitation. Get Up The
opposite of get down, an exhortation used to urge a putt
or shot to travel farther toward the hole. Also used by Golfer A
to urge Golfer B to regain consciousness after Golfer A has hit
Golfer B in the head with an errant iron shot. Gimme
- A conceded putt, shortened from the phrase "Give it to
me." Gimmes are the centre of many golfing controversies,
especially among the ranks of amateurs who are always looking for
an opponent to concede a putt, even if their ball is off the green.
See IN THE LEATHER. Give, give
An agreement between a golfer and his opponent to give each
other their next putt. Usually the result of two amateurs with a
shared fear of the short game. (See also good, good.) Go to school
To learn about the speed and direction of a putt or chip by
observing another putt or chip on the same or similar line is golfs
version of going to school. Smart golfers also go to school
on their own putts and chips and watch as they roll past the
hole to get a look at any break that will effect the putt coming
back. Goat farm
A poorly maintained golf course. (See also dog track.) God squad
Nickname for the group of PGA Tour players who hold regular
prayer meetings at professional golf tournaments. Goer A
shot that goes much farther than normal for the club being
used. A member of the flier family. Gogolak
This synonym for drop kick gets its name from Charlie
and Pete Gogolak, two former NFL placekickers. Golf
- The derivation of the word "golf 'from its Celtic and Middle
English roots is obscure. Some possibilities are: gil f f (an incurable
madness), gylf (a notorious liar), gullf (to beat a shrub with a
short stick), golve (under; beneath; lost; blocked; submerged; stuck;
obstructed), gellvo (horribly; terribly; hopelessly; awfully), galfa
(my God!; oh, no!), goal fyl (to cry; to weep) and gael f (I quit).
See KOLVEN. Golf Accessories
- Gadgets whose purchase improves players' games primarily by eliminating
bulk from their wallets, thereby reducing excessive trouser friction
and allowing a smooth hip movement in the swing. Golf Bag
- Portable container with compartments designed to hold clubs, balls
and other golfing accessories. There are two basic types of golf
bag, and serious players usually own one of each: an inexpensive
canvas or nylon "carry" bag that would have been easy
to tote around the home course if the shoulder strap hadn't broken
on the 3rd tee, and a more durable vinyl or leather "travel"
bag that would have been used on a golf trip if the airline had
not sent it to a continent other than the one on which the course
its owner planned to play is located. Golf Cart
- Two-wheeled bag carrier that decreases the exercise value of playing
18 holes of golf from about the level of two sets of doubles tennis
to the equivalent of an hour and a half of shopping. With a four-wheeled
electric cart, the physical demands of the game can be reduced even
further to about the same as 10 minutes of rearranging sofa cushions,
watering a dozen plants or one complete loading and unloading of
a dishwasher. Golf Club
- 1. The basic implement in golf, which consists of along shaft
on one end of which is the head, which is attached to the shaft
at the heel and has on one side a distinct face. 2. A social organisation
built around a golf course and composed of a number of heels, a
membership committee head with two faces, and a long waiting list
of people who are going to get the shaft. Golf Glove
- An unpleasant odour worn on the hand. Golf Grippe
- Mysterious ailment whose sudden but short-lived symptoms of violent
coughing and sneezing usually occur on the tee or green. It can
often be cured by pounding the sufferer vigorously on the back with
a 5-iron. Golf lawyer
A player known for constantly citing the rules, usually to the
detriment of your score. This character may sound versed on the
rules of the game, but he's probably trying to take advantage of
you. If you're playing with a golf lawyer, carry a copy of
the Rules of Golf with you at all times. Golf Shoes
- There are two basic kinds of special footgear that golfers can
choose from: traditional golf shoes with metal spikes and the newer
rubber-studded models. There are a number of differences between
the two designs, but the question of which type to select really
boils down to whether you want a shoe that you can blame for spoiling
your shot because its spikes caught in the turf during your backswing
or one you can blame because its studs slipped in the grass during
your downswing. Golf Widow
- Non-playing wife of an obsessive golfer. Just for the record,
judges have consistently decided that although golf clearly is "extreme
mental cruelty," it is not grounds for divorce since "the
unspeakable sufferings are experienced exclusively by the player
and not by the one abandoned as the result of such play" (Humphrey
v. Humphrey). On the other hand, courts have been equally firm in
throwing out wills altered in favour of favourite golf holes (Alexander
v. Trust for the Mowing of the Rough on the Back Nine at Smokey
Valley C.C.), bequests to dubious sporting foundations (Bennett
v. The Society for the Perfection of the Backswing) and posthumous
gifts for the care and preservation of treasured clubs (Howard v.
Irons, Woods, et al.). Golfing
- A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a
chance to lie and cheat outdoors. Golfing Vacation
- Period of time spent playing golf in a place where the rain is
warm or where notices indicating that a course is closed due to
inclement weather are posted in a foreign language. Good, good
See give, give. When two golfers have putts that lie
similar distances from the cup, one player will say, "Your
putt is good if mine is good." Used mostly by
amateur players who fear short putts. Green
- A roughly circular area of smooth, lush grass whose verdant hue
is the result of regular sprinkling and constant sobbing, bawling,
blubbering and whimpering. Greenie &
Sandy - Two popular side bets in which the players in a foursome
agree to ante up a small amount of money to be awarded to the first
player on the green on each hole ("greenie") and to any
of their number who get out of a sand trap and into the hole in
two strokes ("sandy"). Other common golfing wagers include
paying a set sum of money to the player who uttered the fewest four-letter
words during the round ("cleanie") and the player who
threw the smallest number of clubs ("gandhi"). Greens Fees
- The charge for playing a round of golf. When paying this fee,
mediocre players should keep in mind the fact that whereas golfers
who regularly shoot par are shelling out nearly a quarter for every
shot they take, a hopeless duffer is paying a mere eight or nine
cents a stroke. Grip
- The end of the club that slips, twists, rips or flakes, as distinct
from the end of the club that rusts, splits, chips or cracks. See
HEAD. Grinder Term
used for a golfer who is all business. A player whose only mission
is to achieve the best score possible. A hard worker. A serious
player. Boring. Tom Kite. Grip it
and rip it To forget about all those "swing thoughts"
and take a healthy rip at the ball. This phrase became popular
after the prodigious swinger John Daly and his Herculean drives,
won the 1991 PGA title at Crooked Stick. When asked about
his style, Daly said, "I just grip it and rip it." Grocery
money Winnings from a golf bet that the winner pledges to spend
on food and drink, or groceries, usually at the nineteenth
hole. Grounder
A golf shot that never leaves the ground. (See also worm
burner.} Grow teeth
A 1.
golfer's plea for the ball to stop quickly. (See also bite, chew)
2. something Tiger Woods did after he broke fifty for nine
holes. Growl Action,
backspin, juice. When you want your ball to stop quickly,
you have to put some growl on it. |