Golf Jokes » Golf excuses

I have only played that course on my computer.

I have some extra money for greens fees from my company's profit sharing.

I have spent a lot of time practising; I want to see how I do.

I have to get used to my new putter.

I have to golf as much as possible. Here in Alaska we can only golf 4 months out of the year.

I have to golf, it's a guy thing.

I have to keep trying to get a hole in one!

I have to make sure my back stays loose.

I have to pay the country club dues, I might as well get my money out of it.

I have to pick up a club I left at the course yesterday.

I have to practice for the tournament next week.

I have to see how my new lesson worked out.

I have to see if I eliminated my slice.

I have to see if my new sunglasses really help me read the greens better.

I have to see if these new golf balls will float.

I have to take my wife golfing at least once a year, it was in the prenuptial.

I have to teach my son-in-law how to golf.

I have to test this new allergy medicine - the course is the perfect testing ground.

I have to try my new sand wedge.

I have to try out this new hat.

I haven't played the course in ten years since I moved away.

I heard a new sand trap was added to #4.

I heard a new tee box was added.

I heard golf is much easier when you're sober, so I have to try it.

I heard the course is flat - I always play well on flat courses.

I heard they cut the greens again. I have to try them out.

I heard they got rid of the port-o-potty at the turn. I have to crown the new bathroom.

I just bought a box of titanium golf balls.

I just bought a new golf glove off the web.

I just bought a pair of waterproof shoes with the slip-proof soft-spikes.

I just bought a putter that is guaranteed to cut 10 strokes off my round.

I just bought my new car; I need to see if it will make it all the way to the course.

I just bought some slice-proof tees.

I just bought winter golf gloves. I want to see how they work.

I just can get more business done on the course.

I just enjoy having a cup of coffee while waiting on the tee box each morning.

I just finished a lesson on the Internet; I want to see if I improved.

I just finished the book titled 'Learn to Golf in Twenty Minutes'.

I just got a new yardage gauge.

I just got an 87-degree wedge that if swung properly, will go backwards.

I just got new glasses; I have to see if I can follow the ball.

I just got the high spin, titanium-tungsten-liquid filled golf balls.

I just got tungsten irons in the mail.

I just had graphite shafts put on my clubs.

I just learned how to hit the ball left to right. I think I can finally control the ball.

I just like wearing golf shoes; they are so comfortable.

I just love screaming the word 'Fore'.

I just love teeing it high and letting it fly.

I just love to golf new courses.