Golf Jokes » Golf excuses

I just play well when the wind blows out of the north.

I just rarely get the opportunity to play that course.

I just received my unemployment check.

I just returned from Antarctica. I am really craving the frustration of playing bad golf.

I just turned 65; I can now play the gold tees.

I just want to play an entire round without a shank.

I just won the slice-free driver.

I kept missing the balls playing softball.

I learn from the other player's swing.

I learned a new putting technique, which makes me only one-putt.

I like collecting yardage books.

I like going swimming in the clubhouse pool after I golf.

I like golfing because I can pee outside.

I like playing cards in the locker room when I'm done golfing.

I like playing scrambles.

I like playing with these guys; they don't make me putt out.

I like reading long putts.

I like saving score cards from every round I play.

I like seeing my footprints on the dew in the early morning.

I like seeing the fish in the ponds when I look for my ball.

I like taking the perfect divot.

I like the beer girl, so I have to play every day in order to talk with her.

I like the benches at the tee boxes.

I like the break of the greens on this course.

I like the feeling of the wind blowing in my hair when I drive the golf cart.

I like to think about life while I golf.

I like using the ball washers.

I like watching the geese on the course.

I liked playing in the sand as a child; I simply continue to enjoy it as an adult (kind of).

I lost all the skins last week; I need to try and win the money back.

I lost my driver's license and the closest place to walk is the golf course.

I lost my keys on the course last year, and I'm going to keep playing until I find them.

I lost my work ID, so I might as well go golfing.

I lost too many balls playing tennis; I want to try golf!

I love long par-5's over ponds.

I love the decision-making part of golfing.

I love the way the sun rises on the fairway.

I may be able to play by myself. I always score better!

I missed my flight because security was backed up, so I might as well go golfing.

I missed the shuttle bus, so I can't go to work.

I need practice; the Masters is on TV next week.

I need some money excuses for bad golf shots - I am writing a book!

I need some peace and quiet.

I need to break in my new golf shoes.

I need to find more golf balls, and it's the best place to look.

I need to get a better tan. It's never cloudy on a golf course.

I need to get out on the course before it snows any more.

I need to lose some weight; it's the perfect exercise.