Golf Jokes » Golf quotes

Lee Trevino

When I'm on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, 'cause I know even God can't hit a one iron.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

No one who ever had lessons would have a swing like mine.

You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket.

I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible.

It's the most fun I've ever had with my clothes on.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they would have come up sliced

If my IQ had been two lower I'd have been a plant somewhere

I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.

Mark Twain

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Paul Harvey

Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five.

Tommy Bolt

Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer.

The greatest liar in the world is the golfer how claims he plays the game for merely exercise.

Tom Watson

A lot of guys who have never choked, have never been in the position to do so.

Winston Churchill

Golf is a game who's aim it is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.