Golf Jokes » Golf excuses

I finally have a chance to play with someone worse than me.

I finished all my projects at work.

I finished cutting my grass.

I gambled away my mortgage money last week, so I need to win it back today.

I gave up intimacy with my wife, so this is my new vice.

I get depressed when I don't play.

I get more work done on the course than at the office.

I collect used tees in all the tee boxes.

I could finally afford a pair of name brand clubs - I want to see if I can break 120!

I golf around Chicago, hoping to see Michael Jordan.

I golf at the outings, hoping to win the car.

I golf every day that ends in a 'y'.

I got a gift certificate for a free round of golf for my birthday.

I got a new beer coolie. I have to try it out on the course.

I got a new pair of knickers.

I got a super deal on a golf package.

I got kicked out of G.A. (Golfers Anonymous)

I got lost going to work and ended up at the golf course.

I got my new handicap card and want to show the guys at the club.

I got new license plates for my golf cart today. I want to see how they look.

I got the hots for the beer girl.

I got the membership as a gift for Christmas.

I got those new golf balls that fly 'too far'; I have to try them out.

I had a dream last night telling me to go golfing.

I had a new soft-spikes put on my golf shoes.

I had a sunroof put in on my golf cart. I need to try it out.

I had back surgery yesterday. I need to see if it helped!

I had to drive all the way to another city to help you move, I'm sure going to golf.

I had to join the course so my wife could make some friends.

I had to make a sales call at the course anyway.

I hate Nascar, and that's all that's on TV.

I have a coupon from the newspaper.

I have a few hours to kill before the M.A.S.H reruns start.

I have a meeting at the course, so I might as well go golfing.

I have a rain check from yesterday.

I have a scramble next week. I need the practice.

I have already seen all the movies at the video store, so I'm going golfing.

I have an opportunity to play with the three best players at the club.

I have been on a plane all day; I just really need some fresh air.

I have been practising putting on my carpet; now I want to see if the practice has paid off.

I have been taking anger counselling for my golf game.

I have been taking golf vitamins, which are supposed to allow me to hit the ball an extra 10 yards.

I have been watching the golf channel for 48 hours straight. I am psyched to try what I learned.

I have been working way too hard; I need to relax.

I have never birdied a #1 handicap hole.

I have never eagled a hole before. I feel lucky.

I have never had the chance to golf in Arizona.

I have never played a canyon course before.