BadGolfer.com: For the golfer who REALLY sucks!

From BadGolfer.com with love: Ranking the top golf courses for (regular) guys who love golf

We all love golf course rankings, but there's quite a bias involved, huh? Host a major championship and you're basically guaranteed a spot on the list. What about the average duffer who's more impressed with the beer list than the slope/rating - or prefers friendliness over the fine, imported lotion in the locker room? Where's our list, hackers? Answer: Right here.
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Currently, the United States owns both the Ryder and Solheim Cups. We believe the U.S. should now cancel both competitions, keep the cups and tell Europe to bite it. But we're slightly xenophobic that way. Nonetheless, America's brave women deserve respect for handling the pressure and holding serve in Illinois. Because not only did they achieve national glory, they finally managed to get Michelle Wie a win.

Features
Hall of Shame
Celebrity Duffers

Divine 9 Road Trip puts Carson City, Nevada golf memorably on the map

A tradition in Carson City, Nev., the Divine 9 Road Trip is a party on wheels. Participants play nine courses - such as Genoa Lakes Golf Club and Dayton Valley Golf & Country Club - two holes each, all over the course of 11 hours - plus share laughs, stories and spirits along the way.
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Is having children worth sacrificing my dream of a country club membership?

I've been slumming it out on cheap public courses my entire life. At one point, aren't I entitled as a lifelong golfer to finally enjoy the fruits of my suffering on a well conditioned, thoughtfully designed private course from one of the game's premier architects?
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The FedEx Cup: The most important tournament-ish golf-thingy of 2009

In 2009, the FedEx Cup is the last big event-ish-like thing-y that Tiger Woods can win, his final chance to save his season and possibly golf. If Steve Stricker wins, everything Tiger has accomplished in his career is for naught.
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Sergio Garcia had no chance at Hazeltine, none! Why?

Like many of you out there, I have long been dazzled by the ability and charisma of Sergio Garcia. I fully bought into the idea that Sergio could be the next Seve Ballesteros and provide Tiger Woods with a generation-long challenge. And I, like many others, was terribly, terribly wrong.
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The only two golf lessons you'll ever need

Forget all the lessons you took from golf pros. Forget the straight left arm, proper posture, head still, full shoulder turn, pronate, supinate, belt buckle to target, complete follow through, right elbow in pocket and the zillion other things some guy charged you $40 a half hour to remember. There are only two lessons you'll need in order to be a good golfer.
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Like it or not, in golf, us old guys rule

Like it or not, folks, when it comes to golf, us old guys rule. The average age of an avid golfer is in the mid-50s, and 78 percent of that group is male. Here are the top 10 reasons why old timers love the game so damn much ...
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What can be done about slow play in golf (Or: Why golfers don't carry guns)
Gambling and golf (or why a dime isn't 10 cents)
Straight down the middle (or: how to cheat in golf with ChapStick)
Barack Obama: BadGolfer.com's Bad Golfer Of The Decade
Spice up your raincheck with Mio Destino's new golf lingerie
A golf bailout? As economy struggles, PGA Tour must make the cut
Ultimate springtime golf fitness tips for "real" golfers
John Daly shocks, angers golf fans by not overindulging for an entire day

Report: George W. Bush to design golf course in Saudi Arabia

George W. Bush doesn't have much longer to figure out his next career move after the Oval Office. BadGolfer.com columnist William K. Wolfrum has preliminary reports that Bush will take up golf course design, starting with a massive project in Saudi Arabia.
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Now barely legal, Michelle Wie faces Playboy choice - Sleaze on!

How soon after Michelle Wie turns 18 does Hef call? Face it, that's all a significant number of Wie "fans" are interested in anyways. Sportswriters skirt around this issue, but the truth is plenty of the hoopla over Wie had to do with a thinly veiled (at best) trumped up sex appeal long before she hit legal age. Wie's team put her out there as a glamorous woman and Internet creeps lapped it up.
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The only two golf lessons you'll ever need

Forget all the lessons you took from golf pros. Forget the straight left arm, proper posture, head still, full shoulder turn, pronate, supinate, belt buckle to target, complete follow through, right elbow in pocket and the zillion other things some guy charged you $40 a half hour to remember. There are only two lessons you'll need in order to be a good golfer.
... full article »
John Daly shocks, angers golf fans by not overindulging for an entire day

Known for his erratic behavior and gambling, drinking and smoking habits, John Daly had an uneventful day yesterday and then stayed home last night according to several insiders. Daly reportedly was in bed by 10 p.m.
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Ten ways to be a lousy golf partner

Want to ensure you're never invited to play with the gals? Want to really annoy your golfing buddies? Here are some sure-fire methods to become the person no one wants to be paired with.
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Ultimate springtime golf fitness tips for "real" golfers

Salivating at the thought of the spring golf season? Hold on, Tiger. You can't just run straight to the golf course after a long winter of sloth and mold. Now don't fall for some charlatan trying to sell you some total golf fitness regimen; we've seen you, and we know that a healthier way of living is not what you're "into." With that in mind, here is BadGolfer.com's total golf fitness regimen for the "real" golfer ...
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When you're playing truly bad golf, even Jesus can't help you
For truly bad golf stories, just ask your caddie
'Caddyshack' quotes: Making golf even funnier for the last 25 years

Celebrity golf tour: Nothing funny about a $2-million purse

You've watched some of these celebrity golf tournaments. Admit it. You probably tuned in out of curiosity, not to see golf at its highest level, but you tuned in.
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Late-night host/MTV legend Carson Daly talks golf and that sneaky Roger Clemens

Get Carson Daly off TV and you'll find one of most polite celebrities anywhere. He didn't just play to the fans at the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic while the cameras were on or reporters were watching. He charmed the volunteers, particularly the older women, clearly coming off as the celebrity in the field they'd most like their daughter to date.
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NBA great (and pro loudmouth) Charles Barkley insists: "I've retired from golf"

Charles Barkley has become something of a golf ambassador in his post-playing days. One of the NBA's 50 Greatest Players of All Time might be almost as well known these days for his putrid golf game.
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Ex-NFL star Sterling Sharpe: Sometimes you have to be "a prick" on the course

Sterling Sharpe suddenly had a lot of time on his hands. The cheering stopped. Brett Favre moved on to other targets. Sharpe found his way into TV commentating, but he also discovered an outlet in golf.
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'80s football rebel Jim McMahon: "Golf's no fun without a buzz"

Watch Jim McMahon play golf and it's 1985 all over again. Only the headband is replaced by bare feet - an unmistakable fashion statement that's every bit as disconcerting to the golfing powers-that-be as those headbands were to Pete Rozelle. And the beer is replaced by … another beer.
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How do you escape Brett Favre's returning shadow? New Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers golfs

How's Aaron Rodgers, the 24-year-old never-been-an-NFL-starter quarterback set to replace Brett Favre as QB of the Green Bay Packers, handling the pressure? He's golfing. Rodgers played in the American Century Celebrity Championship at Lake Tahoe, where he spoke to BadGolfer.com about Favre, gearing up for the season and his golf game.
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Maury Povich: "I'm the best of the TV-news and talk-show-host golfers!"
Daniel "Kid Poker" Negreanu: Golf is more fun when you're betting millions in Las Vegas
Big-play master John Elway roots for Michelle Wie to get her victory

Certified Hackers:

Nominate a hacker!

Got a friend who sucks at golf? Don't let them toddle along in anonymity - it's time to give him the notoriety he so richly deserves! Send us your pal's name and hometown and tell us a bit about how badly he stinks up the links.

Scott Klink from New Albany, Ind. generally shoots over 100 and really ought to play golf with a Weed Wacker. He has a swing like Charles Barkley on his worst day, and if crap golf were a crime, he'd get the chair.
(Nominated by Scott Burch)
Jim Wynn from Savannah, Ga. generally shoots over 120 and really ought to play golf with a Weed Wacker. He has a swing like a drunk Mexican clobbering a pinata and, gets an unplayable lie on the first tee.
(Nominated by Brandon Hill)
Steve "Slicer Machunkin" from Reedsport, Ore. generally shoots over 100 and really ought to play golf with a rope and a kickstool. He has a swing like a drunk Mexican clobbering a pinata and, he's in a sand trap, cats try to bury him.
(Nominated by Dustin Dibala)
Martin Holmes from St. Annes generally shoots around 100 and really ought to play golf with a blue dot over his face. He has a swing like someone being tasered and, he gets an unplayable lie on the first tee.
(Nominated by Ian M.)