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Gentlemen, if you're thinking about golf while in the throws of passion with your lady, chances are you're probably well beyond the reaches of anything clinical psychology or modern prescriptions can help with. For those poor, poor souls, the United Kingdom's Mio Destino Lingerie has launched a new set of golf-themed lingerie.
With Tiger Woods recuperating at home, this is when the PGA Tour marketers earn their bloated paychecks. First of all, they could take cues from other sports, which have long held the belief that to keep fans, they must first entertain them. From post-tournament kick-boxing to gunplay, whiskey and dancing girls, there are any number of existing ploys they could steal to keep the public interest ...
You will find any number of charlatans willing to sell you their total golf fitness regimens. These sleazoids always assume you're a golfer interested in a cleaner, healthier way of living and golfing. I've seen you out on the course, and I know that's not the sort of thing you're "into." So, from breathing exercises to strengthening your core, here's a look at how to get golf-ready. The easy way.
As the entire globe faces an unprecedented financial crisis, the world of sports is already feeling the crunch. The NBA is cutting jobs and tightening its belt. And other leagues, including the PGA Tour, need to find a few ways to save money as the economic noose tightens. BadGolfer.com's got a few suggestions for Tim Finchem.
PGA Tour star John Daly apparently did not overindulge in any way yesterday, according to several stunned witnesses. Known for his erratic behavior and gambling, drinking and smoking habits, Daly had an uneventful day and then stayed home last night according to several insiders. Daly reportedly was in bed by 10 p.m.
Slow play is the pimple on the ass of golf. Everyone hates it, but they don't know how to get rid of it. It's a good thing golfers aren't armed, as it would prove too tempting to pick off the guy in the group in front as he retrieves his fifth ball out of the pond.
Gambling involves the same pressure, whether you're rich or poor. You had better know what you're doing when you gamble. Let's face it, you're a bad golfer or you wouldn't be on this Web site. You'd be on GoodGolfer.com or something, and bad golfers rarely win bets from good golfers, even with handicaps.
Right after the Scots first invented golf, they noticed there was so much blatant cheating in the sport that they needed to invent rules. Since then, the governing bodies, the likes of the Royal and Ancient and the USGA, have maintained the silly things. If the powers to be had thought about it, they would have known you can't trust men who wear skirts to have any common sense.
Sure, the entire planet is facing an unprecedented financial crisis. And every other nation, or so it seems, is currently at war. But does any of that matter? Not a whit. Because Barack Obama occasionally plays golf. And this is what the American people want to know about. Thus, we have named the President-elect BadGolfer.com's Bad Golfer Of The Decade.
When your golf swing has gone to hell, you're grouchy, rude and often incontinent. You hate everything and everybody. That's what's happening right now to Tim McDonald, who instead of hitting drives long and straight, is currently hitting his driver short and stupid and with a hook the size of the Florida Panhandle. McDonald has received tips from anyone and everyone and still his game is a complete mess. He's even looked through old issues of Golf Digest. So what's a golf writer to do when his golf game is embarrassingly horrible? Perhaps now's the right time to find some religion.
"Caddyshack," the hysterical 1980 film about the misadventures of the members and employees of Bushwood Country Club, has become one of the most oft-quoted films of all time. From the philosophical ramblings of Zen golfer Ty Webb to the crude one-liners of Bushwood member-applicant Al Czervik, "Caddyshack" quotes have become part of golf's comedic vernacular. Just in case you're getting rusty on your references, here's a crash course to get you back to word perfect on Carl Spackler's Dalai Lama monologue (and more).
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