Golf Jokes » Golf excuses

My house is being remodelled, so I need to get out of the house.

My kids are away at camp.

My kids keep want and try to beat me.

My motorcycle broke down right in front of my favourite course.

My mum is making me teach my little brother to play.

My mum is taking the kids to the amusement park - so I'm taking the afternoon off.

My new golf bag has a cooler that guarantees beer to stay cold for 5 hours.

My new golf shorts have a special built-in pocket to hold tees.

My new shoelaces are guaranteed to lower my score.

Since winning the Lottery, I need something to occupy my time.

Someone asked!

Standing over a birdie putt is just thrilling.

Summer is almost over, and I just have not played enough.

That's where they told me to go for the job interview.

The ATM made a mistake, now I have some extra money.

The bachelor party starts on the golf course.

The bowling alley was closed.

The British Open has me all excited.

The clouds are just white and puffy. Perfect golf clouds.

The clubhouse was just remodelled.

The clubs are the only things I got in the divorce settlement.

The course does not require you to replace divots.

The course guarantees no flies or mosquitoes.

The course has a special before 7.00am.

The course has great drinking water at the tee boxes.

The course has great golf magazines in the bathroom stalls.

The course has the best Philly cheese steaks at the turn.

The course is allowing me to demo clubs for free today.

The course is going to aerate the greens next week.

The course is trying out a new program with water coolers on all the carts.

The course just installed electric ball washers.

The course just opened.

The course just put in new golf ball washers.

The course put in a new irrigation system on the back nine.

The course serves a great club sandwich for lunch.

The course we are scheduled to play has a lot of hills.

The courses are too busy on weekends, so I am going out today.

The creek is dried up, so I won't lose a ball on my approach shot.

The Cub's have a night game, so I might as well golf this afternoon.