Golf Jokes » Caddies

The Scotsman's caddie

One day, a scotsman went playing golf. After standing a while on the green he asked the boy standing beside him: "You are my caddie for today?"

"Yes," answered the boy.

"You are good in finding lost balls?"

"Oh yes, I find every lost ball!"

"Okay, boy, then run and search for one, then we can start!"

Don't you recognise him

After coming from a long round of golf, his wife kissed him and kissed their son who came in a few moments later.

"Where's he been", the husband asked.

"He's been caddying for you all afternoon", the wife replied

"No wonder he looks so familiar!"

Any improvement ?

Golfer: "Notice any improvement today, Jimmy?"
Caddie: "Yes, ma'am. You've had your hair done."

It's a funny game

After a series of disastrous holes, the strictly amateur golfer in an effort to smother his rage laughed hollowly and said to his caddie:

"This golf is a funny game."

"It's not supposed to be," said the boy gravely.

Do you understand oath's ?

Judge: "Do you understand the nature of an oath?" Boy: "Do I? I'm your caddie, remember!"

Take your 5 wood

Then there's the one about the golfer and his caddie who enjoyed a good argument, especially about what clubs to use. The caddie usually won but this day, faced with a long short hole, the golfer decided that a 3-iron would be best.

"Take a 5 wood ," growled the caddie. But the golfer stuck to his choice and the caddie watched gloomily as the ball sailed over the fairway, landed neatly on the green and rolled politely into the hole.

"You see," grinned the triumphant golfer.

"You would have done still better with your 5 wood," came the dogged reply.

That's not my ball

"That can't be my ball, caddie. It looks far too old.", said the player looking at a ball deep in the trees

"It's a long time since we started, sir."

What's the line caddy

On the seventeenth of the Wentworth Club Course a very careful player was studying the green. First he got down on his hands and knees to check out the turf between his ball and the hole. Then he flicked several pieces of grass out of the way and getting up he held up a wet finger to try out the direction of the wind. Then turning to his caddie he asked:

"Was the green mowed this morning?"

"Yes, sir." "Right to left or left to right?"

"Right to left, sir."

The golfer putted... and missed the hole completely. He whirled on the caddie, "What TIME?"

Drive and a putt

That's good for one long drive and a putt," said the cocky golfer as he teed his ball and looked down the fairway to the green. He swung mightily and hit his ball which landed about a metre from the tee.

His caddie handed him a club and remarked: "And now for one hell of a putt."

Lost ball

Friendly golfer (to player searching for lost ball): "What sort of a ball was it?"

Caddie (butting in): "A brand new one - never been properly hit yet!"

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