Golf Jokes » You scoredI'll sue you
A
golfer is ready to tee off, when a golfer in the adjacent fairway
hits him square in the face with his golf ball. "Idiot! Your ball
hit me in the eye! I'll sue you for five million dollars!" Aren't you giving up
Can
ye see your way to letting me have a golf ball, lock?" Ian asked
his old friend.
"But Ian, you said you were going to stop playing golf," said lock
reluctantly handing over an old spare.
"By degrees, lock. By degrees," replied Ian pocketing the ball.
"I've stopped buying balls as a first step."
Hole in one....
A
group of golfers were putting on the green when, all suddenly a
ball dropped in their midst. One of the party winked at the others
and shoved the ball into the hole with his foot. Seconds later a
very fat player puffed on to the green quite out of breath and red
of face. He looked round distractedly and then asked: "Seen my ball?"
"Yeah,
it went in the hole," the joker answered with straight-faced alacrity.
The fat one looked at him unbelievingly. Then he walked to the hole,
looked in, reached down and picked up his ball. His astonishment
was plain to see. Then he turned, ran down the fairway and as he
neared his partner the group on the green heard him shout: "Hey,
Sam, I got an eleven."
An attack of grippe
An
attack of grippe laid Snavely low just before his usual weekend
game. He rested for a couple of weeks and looked forward to being
back on the links. But just as he was about to play again, the grippe
returned. His regular opponent was miffed and grumbled at the other
end of the telephone.
"Why
can't you play this time, Snavely?" he wanted to know.
"Let
me put it this way," said the sufferer sadly. "My trouble is an
overlapping grippe."
Golf at Monte Carlo
The
Monte Carlo golf course is famed for its glorious position high
in the hills behind the town - a place of lush beauty and tranquillity
unless your game is off. Charlie's game was !
Not
one of his shots went right. At the eighteenth hole he made a last
swipe at the ball, missed completely, and tore up about a metre
of turf. He then strolled disgustedly from the tee and looked down
to the blue Mediterranean. Sailing boats were to be seen gliding
about hundreds of metres below.
"How,"
demanded Charlie, "how can anyone be expected to shoot a decent
game with those infernal ships rushing back and forth."
Would it be cheating
Two
golfers, slicing their drives into the rough, went in search of
the balls. They searched for a long time without success while a
dear old lady watched them with a kind and sympathetic expression.
At
last, after the search had proceeded for half an hour, she addressed
them sweetly.
"I
hope I'm not interrupting, gentlemen," she said, "but would it be
cheating if I told you where they are.'"
How many strokes
How
many strokes d'ye have, laddie?" the Scot asked his guest after
the first hole.
"Seven."
"I
took six. Ma hole"
They
played the second hole and once again he asked: "How many strokes?"
"Oh
no sir!" said the guest. "It's my turn to ask."
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