Golf Jokes » Golf excuses

A free round of golf was thrown in for test driving the car.

After reading the USGA rules, I have to change my theory on golf.

All the cool kids play golf.

All the executives from my company play this course.

All the pin placements are forward today.

All the TV shows are reruns.

Because I am retired.

Church was cancelled because of all the snow, so I'm going golfing.

Drinking beer and golfing is just fun.

Excuse? I don't need no stinking excuse!

Free beer at the turn.

Frustration is a rush. I can only get that on a golf course.

Golf brings our my best competitive nature.

Golf fills the long void of the weekend until work starts again.

Golf is the only place I can take my girlfriend where she can't talk constantly.

Golf teaches me patience, and I need a lesson.

History dictates the more I play, the better I get.

I almost broke 90 last time out. I need to keep trying.

I always meet interesting people on the course.

I always play well when it rains.

I am almost 50; I need to practice for the senior circuit.

I am just very optimistic I will play well if I golf today, so I'm going.

I am required to golf for work; I love my job.

I am sick of playing golf on my computer. I want to play for real.

I am useless at work unless I golf twice a week.

I bought a double titanium krypton driver with atomic shaft and sand grooved grips. I need to try it out.

I bought a golf cart at a rummage sale.

I bought a whole new golf wardrobe.

I bought those new golf contact lenses, guaranteed to cut 5 strokes off your score.

I called in sick at work.

I came home from work, and a note instructed me to leave and go golfing.

I can expense it for business purposes.

I can finally keep my driver in the fairway.

I can finally play under pressure, so I can start betting again.

I can get some lawn care tips from the ground maintenance crew.

I can pass gas, and no one is the wiser.

I can shoot par on the computer version now I want to try the real thing.

I couldn't golf when I was married, so any time is good now.

I do all my praying on the course.

I don't have a logo ball from that course.

I don't have time for the driving range, but I have time to play 18.

I enjoy driving the golf carts.

I enjoy hitting things.

I enjoy looking for my ball in the rough.

I enjoy looking through the used golf balls in the pro shop.

I enjoy nature.

I enjoy the peace and quiet on the course.

I enjoy the smell of freshly cut grass.

I enjoy wearing golf caps.